We have all been hurt by the words or actions of others at some time in our life. It can happen at any stage. It can come from those we trust the most. It could have been anything from a harsh word from an authority figure in your life, to a traumatic experience of abuse. These words and actions can leave us with feelings of anger, resentment, or revenge; or we could be left feeling victimized. When we hold onto these emotions, we become stuck in that moment in time, and these emotions can eat away at us. Some people are more forgiving that others, but when we fail to embrace forgiveness, we lose our inner peace, our joy, and our love for life. It can even make us sick. When your positive emotions are replaced with resentment and hostility, you may find yourself overwhelmed by your own bitterness or victimization.
Forgiveness can mean different things to different people. Generally, it is a conscious process that begins inside of us. We can begin to replace these negative emotions and attitudes by viewing it as an opportunity to learn and grow beyond the initial incident. The process of forgiveness does not mean we are condoning the behaviour, making excuses for it, forgetting about it, or even reconciling with the person who hurt us.
Holding onto anger, bitterness, or even a grudge comes at a price. Not only will it harm your well-being, but it will also start to taint every relationship and new experience as you become consumed by the wrong done to you. This may also lead to depression or anxiety. You may experience feelings of lack of purpose or direction in life. You may even lose some of the valuable connections you already have. Is it worth it? With a little effort you can change the course of your life from a downward spiral to feeling uplifted and supported.
How do we learn to forgive?
Forgiveness is a conscious choice; it is a commitment to yourself to change. There are several things you can do to begin the process.
The process of forgiveness is more about you and your life. Think about how much better you will feel once you have completed this process. This will bring about the mental, emotional, and spiritual healing that takes away the power the other person has over you and your life.
If you are finding the forgiveness process especially challenging there are a few things you can try.
What if you did the hurting?
If you are the one who has done or said something to harm others, try going inward and acknowledge how your actions may have harmed others. Ask yourself if there’s a possibility you could reach out to the person to apologise for your words or actions. You can formulate your apology beforehand, as this part can also be challenging, sincerely express your regret and ask for forgiveness. Look to do this without self-judgement and without making excuses for yourself. Remember you can’t force someone to forgive you and that they may need time to resolve this within themselves. Always treat yourself and others with compassion, understanding and respect.
Most importantly, you need to forgive yourself. Make some time for yourself to sit quietly when no one will disturb you. Turn off your devices to avoid being interrupted. Go inward to your centre, if you need to, place your hand over your heart to help you focus. Take a few deep breaths. In your heart space, see yourself with a mirror image of you standing face to face. Express yourself and apologise to your mirror image, include everything that you wish to say, speaking from your heart. Really feel this release and feel the compassion that is there for you. Listen to any feedback that may be given. Then give each other a hug, knowing that you are free to move forward. Take another deep breath and open your eyes.
In the process of forgiveness, the words or actions may stay with you, but you are reclaiming your power. This person no longer has a hold over you, and you are no longer imprisoned by your negative emotions. For some the journey to a state of forgiveness can take time, and always must include forgiveness for yourself. Forgiveness may even lead to an understanding and compassion for the person who hurt you. In reclaiming your power, you reclaim your life and can move beyond the painful words or actions, leading to emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Each individual will awaken in their own way, having their own unique experience. Not all will awaken at the same time. If I can use an analogy here, it's like coffee. When do people have coffee? Some as soon as they wake in the morning, some half way during the day and some in the evening. And some not at all. It's all part of the experience of being human and each human has free will.
Our mission, if we should choose to accept it, is to awaken and anchor the ever increasing Light frequencies. What does this mean? It means that as we do our deep inner work, we are purifying, our cells in our bodies are detoxing from the old dense energies. Every aspect of our lives must be observed and transformed in order to bring about a balance between the ego and the Higher Self. When we reach a state of embodiment of Higher Self, we have reached Ascension. That means at around 55% of our DNA needs to be functioning. At the moment our DNA functions at around 33%. The more we do our embodiment process, others will notice and start their process or deepen their process or the other alternative is that this planet will no longer sustain them and they will not be present on this planet. We have just witnessed many leave this planet recently as their energies were no longer sustainable.
Judging others for where they are on their journey does not serve our process. Sovereignty in this area of our life means we do not have opinions and we are not triggered into emotions around what others are doing. We simply notice the ebb and flow and consciously choose where we will give our energy next.
With deepest respect and honouring your Divinity, Namaste
The pursuit of happiness has been attempted by many who have found it to be elusive. As humans, we all want to be happy, right? So why have so many failed to reach it? I’m sure we would all agree that generally, we define happiness as experiencing emotions of well-being, contentment, satisfaction, even joy combined with a sense of life being meaningful and worthwhile. So why is happiness so elusive?
Is it really that complicated or is it our expectations? Are you waiting for someone or something external to yourself to make you happy; expecting a magic wand to be waved over your head to make all your troubles go away; maybe even waiting for aliens to beam you off the planet to a happier place.
These are all ways of escaping the main issue, which is to take responsibility for your own state of being. Make yourself happy. After all, if you can’t make yourself happy, how do you expect others to?
Observations and Introspection
When I look at life around me, I see many who are reacting to their environment. They are constantly being provoked, triggered, or pressured into a response. It seems to me that there is more to living life than being like tumble weeds blown about by the whim of the wind. There must be a better way of living life.
I found that spending as little as 10 to 15 minutes each day, sitting quietly and going inward, not only helped me understand myself better as a result I began to live a happier, healthier, and more balanced life. I stopped stressing, I stopped worrying about the things I couldn’t change; in any given moment I could stop, take a deep breath and focus on the now and how I was feeling. What I noticed was that during the course of my day, I was in reaction to the person standing in front of me or the current situation I was finding myself in. I noticed these things about myself without judgment and chose to persevere with quiet introspection time.
It was a journey to say the least. As time went on, I noticed the changes within me. I decided to stop reacting to my environment. I wanted my life to flow with ease and grace. I wanted to feel peace inside and to feel more confident within myself. I wanted to connect with my inner guidance and to align with my empowered and authentic self.
And it happened. Patience with myself paid off. I raised my vibration and let go of much of what no longer served me, I was not hanging onto past hurts, fears, or the need to control. I claimed my sovereignty!
Now, you may be hearing this word a lot these days, but what does it mean exactly?
Sovereignty is the state of being where you are free from external controlling influences, a state of detachment.
This doesn’t mean you stop feeling. On the contrary, you view the events going on around you, but you don’t react without first thinking about what is going on. You are in control of your emotions and you choose how you will respond. No one is pushing your buttons or pulling at your heartstrings.
Dealing with Manipulation and Provocation
From that centred and grounded place within me, that place of peace, I could see how certain people were manipulating situations in their favour or provoking a reaction from me. I had a choice, I could ask myself,
Emotions + Actions = Life Balance and Happiness
This gave me a tremendous sense of freedom, of knowing myself, and knowing that I don’t have to fit the labels others put on me. I have my own set of unique gifts; I don’t need to feel awkward about them being different from everyone else and I can confidently shine in the world. But there is a flip side to this. It also means that I am taking responsibility for how I think, speak, and act. I am responsible for what I create.
If You Can’t Change It, Don’t Worry About It
When we stop blaming other people and circumstances for where we are, we become better versions of ourselves. We are all capable of controlling our emotions and actions. You can start by focusing on those things that you can control or decide on right now. If you can’t change it, then there is no point in worrying about it.
My journey took me to a deeper more meaningful place of existence; a life of balance and happiness, where I connected with my authentic self; where I could share my divine gifts with humanity and the planet and just relax into being a happier version of me.
Live in your sovereignty and find your happiness!